License/Basement

Wow... What a great day yesterday was! First, when the letter comes in the mail that I can get the next step of my Driver's License, my mom flat out told me that she is not going to let me get it. She gave a few half-assed reasons for this, but we went driving right afterwards, and nothing of the like she described happened, and I'm not sure I've ever even had things like that happen...

It's almost like my parents don't trust me anymore. I mean, my mom has actually told me that she doesn't trust my best friend that we've known since I was in first grade. He doesn't do drugs or drink or smoke pot or anything, and she doesn't trust him. I honestly don't get it anymore. Is she actually listening to Chris now? Doesn't she know that my stupid brother openly hates me, and that he refuses to trust me, no matter what I do?

Then, even better. We had a huge downpour that evening, and around 9:30 PM, our basement started flooding. I mean, how can you top off a day like that other than to have to deal with a huge downpour, and stop your basement from flooding?

Ugh, what a mess. I don't wanna try and drag out this huge issue, but I really want my license, I mean, it's been six months of waiting, and the TELL got -really- old after about two weeks. When I get this license, I'll be so much more self-sufficient! I won't have to rely on everyone, and be such a huge burden on everyone... What's wrong with that? There's way worse drivers than I am on the road, and I don't get why she's worried when I passed the Driver's Ed test with complete ease...

Maybe I'm just not seeing the whole issue, and I'm dragging out the fact that she's said that she doesn't trust my friend too far... Either way, I guess I just need to figure out for sure, but I don't know how... And now certainly isn't the time to start anything like this.

I really just wish I could have that unshakable feeling that my parents trusted me completely again, and I don't even know where that feeling went. I just hope it can come back again, or things are gonna get... Tough.

Social Awkwardness.

Why is it I'm cursed to never know what to say so that I don't mess up my own life? I'm constantly giving people advice, and I can't ever tell if they want it or not. And I'd like to be a person for people to turn to, but I always get the impression I'm pushing everyone away, or that I've come off as a complete ass. I don't know what people want, and I keep trying to guess at it, and I always feel like I'm wrong.

It seems like whenever I'm trying to do things right, I screw up everything, yet whenever I just do something, it turns out right. It's like I've got no real control in my life, and all that it does is socially embarrass me over and over again, and make me clueless as to how everyone thinks about me.

The only problem here is, should I care what everyone else thinks? I don't know. All I know is that I don't want to be Chris. Ever. No matter how impossibly dark it gets, I don't want to be like that.

New things!

Well, I do believe I've filled this blog out. :)

Added main pic, poll, more about me, and maybe a slideshow whenever all those pictures get done uploading...

Monday...

I'm never sure what to think about days in the summer... It's almost like they blend into one large mix until you're back in school again.

I mean, you have all this fun with your friends, but does it ever matter? In the end you just go back to school, or college, or work, and it doesn't change anything.

Or, you could view it like this: A person could sit all day and not do anything because it's inconsequential, or they could go out and do something, go relieve the incessant boredom of not having something to do 24-7, and go back to school when they have to, not because it's just the next destination.

One question... Which is the right view?

GIMP Startoff

The result of my first day of playing with GIMP, the GNU-image manipulation program. They're not phenomenal, but I think they're decent.