Sunday, June 22, 2008

Social Awkwardness.

Why is it I'm cursed to never know what to say so that I don't mess up my own life? I'm constantly giving people advice, and I can't ever tell if they want it or not. And I'd like to be a person for people to turn to, but I always get the impression I'm pushing everyone away, or that I've come off as a complete ass. I don't know what people want, and I keep trying to guess at it, and I always feel like I'm wrong.

It seems like whenever I'm trying to do things right, I screw up everything, yet whenever I just do something, it turns out right. It's like I've got no real control in my life, and all that it does is socially embarrass me over and over again, and make me clueless as to how everyone thinks about me.

The only problem here is, should I care what everyone else thinks? I don't know. All I know is that I don't want to be Chris. Ever. No matter how impossibly dark it gets, I don't want to be like that.

1 comment:

Morry said...

You know there's a picture with an inscription on it in my blog. It says: "If you can't please everyone with your deed or your piece of art, then make it so that a few like it. It's bad to please many. Schiller"

Don't try to guess what people expect from you or what you *should* do. Just follow what your heart tells you. Which doesn't mean that you won't be hurt and rejected.

What people really need, in my opinion, is a person to talk to. Because we all walk through this world without actually paying attention to each other. Conversations where each person just talks about him/herself not really caring about the replies of the other are not rare. So people need a person to listen to them. Truly, truly listen. Not criticize. Not advise. Just understand. And care.

And when you approach a person, respect his/her right not to allow you into their personal affairs. Give them a chance to decide, freedom to talk or not. And be honest yourself. Know why you are doing it. And don't forget to consider how you'd feel in their place.

Life is not about simple answers. But we are here trying to live together.

Well, I guess that was everything. Reffect, with a big load of social incompetence and lacking the power of expression...